Moving, Mayhem, and more (aka I’m back y’all)


Hello lovelies!!
Sorry about the absence. We went straight from coaching two ball teams and finishing up MJ’s homeschooling, to moving, then straight into fireworks week. We had a show the weekend before the fourth ( literally while we was moving) then two shows the weekend of the fourth. Between moving the contents of our house, then loading and unloading and building the shows, we had several days of not being able to move our bodies very well afterwards…..
Most of the time it’s fun being pyro technicians, this year was just exhausting. But on the bright side the shows were beautiful and we still have all fingers and toes not to mention what brain cells we started with.
But more about that shenanigans later.
We moved to Milton at the end of June, and back to Charley’s Creek where I grew up at. The kids seem to be doing pretty well with the move so far. They are looking forward to starting new schools, but nervous at the same time. Especially MJ, who will be a freshman in high school this year.
They however, are not looking forward to how early school starts in this county compared to the old one, lol. Gosh I hate that for them…..
Sorry, not sorry… πŸ™‚
The boys are signed up for flag football coming up, which I’m thrilled about!!
FINALLY!!!! They are playing MY FAVORITE SPORT!!! Woohoo!!!
It’s like the mothership has landed and is calling me home!
And no coaching or assisting with it, I plan on spending my time being a mouthy football mom while I have the chance. Since this is their season to “try it and see if they like it” it maybe my only chance to do it. MJ is determined to find out about being a trainer for the high school football team but also is thinking about fall softball. She is also wanting to get back into chorus and see about trying out for Collegium or show choir so the sky is the limit for her right now. And I think it is absolutely wonderful πŸ™‚

I will do more posts this week on various topics, including stuff that has happened during the move and blowing stuff up. The best words of advice I can leave you with at the moment is you can never have enough ratchet straps, boxes, packing tape, band aids, and cordless drills.
Everything else, including your spouse a couple days into moving, is expendable….. They don’t make enough superglue to keep that man seated when he is “on a mission from God”.
It was like the Blues Brothers, minus the shades, comedy, dancing, car, cops, and Aretha Franklin.

Have a great day everyone. And stay safe


So Many Feels!! Road trip, Wrestlemania, and Twitter


Hello Lovelies! I hope Monday was kind to everyone this week!
I got the opportunity to do something really awesome this last weekend, well several things actually that I wanted to share with you all.
I had a very best friend in high school named Dino. By tenth grade we were pretty much inseparable , much to the chagrin of our teachers most likely. But then, as a lot of times happened, her parents decided to move away with her. Three hours away. At that age three hours seems like three years. We kept in touch thru letters, phone calls, cards and weekend visits for a long time. But things happened, disagreements that probably weren’t as bad they seemed at the time got in the way and we drifted apart.
This is one of those instances that I truly can say “Thank God for social media!” We reconnected with each other thru Facebook and started talking some again. It’s funny how you can not see or hardly speak to someone for almost 16 years and find out things you still have in common; we own the same type of mini vans, have some of the same ailments, and the most awesome one:
Our daughters are not even a year apart from each other in age, have a ton in common, and they both are our mini me’s! πŸ™‚
Last Friday, I met Dino about 30 minutes away from our house, got to talk to her, we hugged and laughed, and picked up where we left off for a little while. Then I brought her daughter, Winter, home with us to stay with my daughter for the weekend.
It was so surreal watching the two of them together. Dino said it best when she said that it was “like looking in a time warp mirror”. These 2 teenage girls who had only talked online and on the phone a few times, acted like they had known each other their whole lives! Bipolar disorder has made it hard on my daughter making new friendships and opening up to people in the last couple of years and watching her have an instant connection to someone and giggling her head off like a little girl was so amazing.
MJ and Winter got drugged to the ball field with us for games and practices this weekend, but also managed to have a few adventures as well. They took walks out the country road that my mom lives out, she got introduced to my family, they took walks all around the city we live in, stayed up and made desserts, watched Disney movies with the boys, and in general just enjoyed the whole weekend. So much that I do believe that it will be getting repeated for this coming weekend on spring break! I really hated to see the weekend end for them on Sunday evening, but it had to. The bonus was getting to take a road trip about an hour and a half away from our house to meet Dino and give her her daughter back. So in a sense, my daughter gained an amazing friend, and I got an amazing friend back!
After our road trip reunion was done and we have made plans to meet up and steal Winter again soon, as well as found a new state park off the interstate that we wanna try camping at, we started on our way back home and to my mothers house…..
Because it was time for WRESTLEMANIA 30!!!!!!!!
Yes folks Sunday was the big day, of course if you are a WWE fan, you already know that. And you probably already know what all happened during it. But seeing as how I’m still in shock over it I will say it again like I have multiple times since about halfway thru the show that night……. HOW CAN IT BE TRUE THAT THE UNDERTAKER’S WRESTLEMANIA WINNING STREAK IS OVER?
I have watched wrestling since I was a kid, I have all 3 of my kids into watching it. Some things have remained a constant in wrestling; there are good guys, bad guys, there are always controversies, and the Undertaker doesn’t lose at WRESTLEMANIA, period.
That was until Sunday night.
Mark Gallaway, the man that is Undertaker, just turned 56 a few weeks ago, so it was inevitable that he was going to have to retire coming up. I assumed that they would have him going out winning, making his total at WRESTLEMANIA 22-0, and he would just be never heard from again.
After all, he is the undead Phenom from Death Valley, who would question it really? But wanting to keep us in shock, and invoking emotion, they had him lose to Brock Lesnar, a part time wrestler, whom is generally disliked. Lesnar’s long list of credits include leaving UFC due to diverticulitis, and getting kicked out of the NFL.
Sure, sounds just like the person that should take out the biggest name in professional wrestling….
The general consensus is that it was Undertaker’s choice and decision to end it this way, and I completely respect that. But that doesn’t change the fact that the entire Super Dome went dead quiet in shock when it happened and that the announcers even looked visibly upset when it occurred.
It also doesn’t change the fact that it felt like I was watching my childhood get ripped apart like a Nixon intern that was in charge of document shredding that week.
But it invoked emotion, it had a lot of feeling to it. And that was and is always the goal. Some would ask why I watch wrestling ” it’s all fake” or ” it’s all scripted”
Indeed you are right. But so is every soap opera and damn near every reality show in existence. It’s my choice of drama.
And my drama is full of sweaty, well built, athletic men doing amazing feats of strength, agility, and acrobatics…. All I can say to that combo is “Can I get a hell yeah?”
Twitter is where I do the majority of my wrestling discussions at. Which if you’re interested I’m @jas304 on there. I talk back and forth to a lot of wrestling fans on there, along with several guys who do wrestling podcasts. I highly recommend The Nick and Bryan show, Angry Marks, and The Fans Podcast. They are all intelligent and funny guys with some great guests and discussions going on.
In the middle of WRESTLEMANIA while tweeting I got an awesome surprise on Twitter. I saw in my notifications that I had been added to several group lists of top Twitter Bloggers, along with being added to SQ Magazines list of “Top Notch Bloggers”
I was deeply surprised and so excited over this. If anyone reading this had anything to do with it, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so happy that there are people out there who enjoy reading my posts. I didn’t start this blog with a goal in mind of how many readers or followers I wanted, or anything like that. It just kinda started as 50% a place to rant, 50% a place to tell funny stories, and 50% a way to wear out my brain on late evenings when my insomnia kicks in……..
And since that’s 150%, it was a place to demonstrate my bad ass math skills….
But, I digress…..
Oh and a place to show my love for unnecessary streams of extra periods……..
And there it is folks, a recap of our awesome weekend and my thanks to everyone that is reading my posts and then sharing them with others. I truly am grateful that you all enjoy my “random rants, recaps, and road trips from a rowdy red head”
Until next time my lovelies. πŸ˜‰

Random Quotes


“No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Because someone somewhere else is fighting to survive”
Author Unknown
Alternate Quote
“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.”
William Golding

From the mouth of Babes…


So hubby is recovering nicely from his gal bladder removal and getting ready to return to work now. But I had to share something from the day after his surgery. Something that our youngest, Q, was concerned about:
Q- Hey mom, when is daddy coming home?
Me- We’re going to go get him from the hospital this afternoon honey.
Q- Ok. So is he alright?
Me- He’s gonna be in pain for.a few days, but he’s fine honey.
Q- So he can walk?
Me- Uhm yeah… What made you think he couldn’t walk?
Q- Well didn’t they have to pull it out thru his penis (he says this while protectively cupping his)
Me- No! They went thru his belly button.
Q- His belly button? Well how in the crap is he gonna pee out from out of that?
Me- Hold on! What in the world organ do you think they took out of your dad?
Q- Well obviously not the one you’re talking about!!
Me- They took daddy’s gal bladder out. It is a completely different organ than your bladder. Your bladder holds urine before you pee it out and your gal bladder helps make bile for your stomach to digest your food.
Q- Ohhhhh……. Well didn’t they shove something up daddy’s penis over the stone a while back?
Me- That was when daddy had a kidney stone. This was a gal stone in his gal bladder. Two completely different things.
Q- Ohhhhh…… This is what happens when I only listen to half of what you say about stuff!
Me- Exactly! So you good on what surgery daddy had now?
Q- Yeah. Sounds better than something coming out of his…
Me- Son, let’s stop talking about your dad’s penis and things getting pulled out or shoved up it for at least the rest of this year, ok?
Q- Yeah this is getting weird……..

Hazard City Incident Part 1- aka A Better Story than that Richard Marx Song…


Well it’s been an eventful few weeks around Casa De CooCoo….. We will cover that stuff in other posts. Right now kiddies, I wanna sit back and tell you all a story from this weekend. A story about our little trip to Hazard, Kentucky for an overnight stay.
Thank The Lord that it was just the one night…. Pretty sure I escaped with the majority of the brain cells I went with.
Kyle, my hubby, is a CPR instructor and teaches classes on his off days when hired to do so. And with me now staying at home to homeschool MJ, this is awesome and helps replace my lost income. As of lately he has been getting industrial companies calling to schedule classes for their employees.
Several weeks back he got a call from a company in Hazard, Kentucky requesting a class. After he added in for travel expense and lodging and etc they set the date for the class for March 22nd, we scheduled ball practices and etc around it, added it into Cozi ( aka the big giant head) and it was done!!!
Except last weekend Kyle’s body had other plans. His Gal Bladder sent him the message that he needed to lay the hell down, then sent him to the ER. This was Saturday night, they took the Gal Bladder out Monday morning.
“We are SO into EMS that even normally routine outpatient surgeries we do emergent requiring a hospital stay!!!! IN YOUR FACE HEALTHY PEOPLE!!!”
Luckily, having previous experience with Mr. Murphy and his jackass of a law, we always have multiple backup plans.
So you have a Plan B???
How cute of you, I’m on Plan L!!!
I brought Kyle home late Tuesday evening from the hospital. His surgeon, who did an awesome job, told him no lifting over 25 pounds and no contact sports until his mid April appointment.
Another year of starting a middle aged males rugby team in West Virginia is crushed in its embryonic stages…
After a few phone calls and talking to his parents we decided that we would drop T and Q off at his parents house, take MJ with us and go to Hazard. It was obvious from the amounts of moaning and whining that he did after the surgery that his mouth was fine. So he could still teach the class and I would do all the demo stuff, like how to do compressions, helping a choking victim, underwater basket weaving, and etc. This would also allow MJ to help me set up and carry in classroom supplies and mannequins as well as let her sit in on the class and renew her CPR card, which she has had since she was 10.
Class went great. Great group of guys with great questions and observations. I hadn’t gotten to help with a class in a long time and I can honestly say that I remembered how much I enjoyed doing them before and I will make it a goal within the next couple of months to obtain my CPR instructors card!!
Or stay at a Holiday Inn Express….. Either way…
We got something to eat, then started to head back to West Virginia to get the boys, visit hubby’s parents, then visit our one week old baby nephew and his mommy.
After we had been on the road for a half an hour or so, my belly started protesting ( I haven’t had a gal bladder for 4 years and I waited way too long into the day to eat). After looking around for a little bit we noticed a sign for a Marina that was attached to a State Park. It had restroom emblems on the board so we drove down into it.
It was a nice little Marina, had several boats that you could tell was do it yourself houseboats. Apparently there are multiple uses for abandoned trailers, some underpinning, and anything that floats. I spotted the little restroom building and got out of the van and started up the walkway towards it.
As I approached the bathrooms I noticed that there was a guy standing by the ladies room door like he was guarding it. Assuming that he was just waiting on someone that was inside I walked up to the door and grabbed the handle.
This is when the guy looks up at me and says “Be careful in there!”.
My knee jerk reaction was to tell him that it would be alright, I hadn’t had that many of the boneless wings. But that is just my lack of an internal monologue showing thru, and that still doesn’t answer why I was supposed to be careful walking into a ladies restroom in the middle of a state park on a clear and sunny day.
So I bite the bullet. “I will be careful if you tell me exactly why I need to be careful” I said in an almost too cheerful of a tone.
“Oh it’s no big deal, she’s just in there washing something off” he said mumbling and looking down.
I later sat down and thought about it, he said “something”
Who is she?
Why do I have to be careful if it’s no big deal?
Why is he guarding the ladies room door?
Why in the hell am I asking you all?
So I pulled on the handle and entered the bathroom at this point with my curiosity peaked.
I came into the area where the sinks are and I saw her. It had to be her because “she” was the only other person in the bathroom at the time. She was the only other person at least.
I stopped just two sinks away from where she was… Using the extra long handicap bathroom sink….
To wash her cat.
Yes, she was giving her cat a bath.
In a ladies restroom in the middle of a Marina in a state park.
While her boyfriend stood guard by the front door to tell people to be careful when going inside.
“Hey babe! Wanna go for a boat ride?”
“Sure thing hot stuff! Just gotta run to the little girls room and give Mr Whiskers a good scrubbing! If he’s gonna be hissing and mad screaming at the water while we’re on the boat and hiding in the corner, he might as well already be soaked and mad to start with!”
“Sounds great sugar puff! I’ll stand guard outside the ladies restroom door and tell everyone to be careful going in while you are doing it!”
“OMG! You are such a kind and caring person muffin lumps! So brave!”
“It’s all for you sugar lumps. All for you and your amazingly clean cats. You’re the brave one… Don’t forget to wear your sweatshirt so he doesn’t claw you as bad as he did the last time my little chimichanga”
*Cut to scene of both of them lying dead on the bathroom floor. Mr Whiskers is sitting on top of them cleaning his paws and looking sleepy……..
The majority of all of this dialogue managed to pass thru my head as I’m standing and staring at this lady, around my age, wearing a sweater, and giggling. The cat in her outstretched arms was not a kitten, it was not wounded, and it had no visible dirt or anything on it that I could see anywhere on its body.
And he was pissed…..
You know that sound a cat makes outside when it’s about to whoop some cat ass? It was making that sound.
And would constantly make that sound for almost the next 10 minutes….
I mumbled something along the lines of “Hello” or “It puts the lotion on the skin” and stopped staring and continued into a bathroom stall.
The whole time I’m in there all I can hear is the sounds of the cat that was being water boarded outside the stall.
The whole bathroom smelled like menthol. I found out later that it was menthol scented pet shampoo. And I don’t know how many times she rinsed the damn cat. I stopped bothering to count after 10 times hearing the water turn back on.
At this point I just want her to stop and leave. I was about at the point that I was going to have to exit the stall and try not to stare at the awkward uncomfortable scene happening in the sink.
Suddenly I heard the lady halfway squeal the word “Oops!” What the hell is she saying oops about? Did she miss a couple fragments of the cats pride that she was scrubbing off?
All of a sudden a screaming, wet, pissed off object same flying into the bottom of my stall at Warp 10. It scared the hell out of me it happened so fast. So fast that before I could even process that it was in fact the poor tormented cat that was being water boarded and not a rabid midget ninja rapist that I screamed “JESUS!” And proceeded to punt return the speeding object back out of the stall. The automatic toilet decided that this was the perfect opportunity to do a courtesy flush during my time of distress.
I’m not to proud to admit, this was not my finest hour y’all.
In the next moments to follow I realized what had just happened. It was about that time I heard the giggle of the lady as she was apparently scooping up her cat and saying “oh come back here! We’re almost done!”
I sat there trying to decide if she was going to actually rinse the cat again. But she didn’t. The next sound I heard made me wonder what had happened to the other pets of this woman’s.
She turned the automatic hair dryer on and stuck the cat under it……
The sounds coming out of its mouth, if carefully translated to English, contained words that would make Veteran Sailors blush. I chose this time to come out of the stall and my eyes confirmed what my ears couldn’t believe.
I quickly walked to the sinks to wash my hands, careful to skip the long sink that had obvious cat hair remnants along with human blood in it. Along with a bottle of mentholated pet shampoo on the top of the sink.
I grabbed some towels to use on my hands about the time I heard the lady sigh and walk out the door.
Damn. Just when I was going to ask her if she had some child rearing tips for me…..
When I walked out the door, there stood the happy couple, reunited after he brave adventure.
And there on the grass below them was the cat, on a leash. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she would think that cat would run away from her ass.
Everyone should visit Cray Cray land once or twice in their life, but living with it daily would have anyone chewing off their arm to get out of the straps.
She told me that she hoped that the cat didn’t scare me as I was going past. I said that’s ok, as long as he has no broken ribs don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure that she asked me what did I just say but I’m not sure.
I was already two thirds of the way to the van, telling Kyle to get out of the drivers seat I was taking over.
He asked if I was ok, I told him to shut up, sit down and buckle up.
I’m getting us the hell out of Kentucky.
I took off out of the park and started telling him what happened. I then spent the next 20 minutes listening to him cackle hysterically. The last 10 minutes of it was because I realized I turned the wrong way out of the park and was going back farther into Kentucky.
When I yelled “oh hell no you water boarding psycho hose beasts!” He lost it again for another ten minutes.
In unrelated news, I’m going to start a petition to ban automatic toilets and hand dryers from all state parks to conserve energy.
Anybody wanna sign it??

We got the band back together


Baby girl MJ has been home almost a week now. Some adjustments still going on and therapists appointments to be done but it is so amazing to have her home! If you’ve never experienced it for yourself having someone else take care of your child for a couple of weeks is like trying to scream with no voice, utterly useless and frustrating as hell…
But I digress, where are we heading now, ooh this exit looks like fun…
MJ is not in any shape to go back to public school, especially middle school, which I also like to refer to as “the fifth concentric circle of hell”. So we have decided that she will be homeschooled for at least the remainder of the 8th grade year.
Now luckily I have an awesome friend Cindy, who has an awesome sister Ginny, whom pointed me in the right direction and I figured out what the hell I’m doing to start off.
Apparently my Breakfast Club idea of flipping off the school as we walk away from it isn’t how you’re supposed to do it….. Oh well maybe I can save that for the end of the year test!
I can already tell you what the snafu will be and let me tell you something sisters the struggle is real! Pre freaking Algebra. In a nut shell I hated the crap the first time thru, why did I think it would change now? Because of all of those times I had to solve an equation for a job interview? I don’t think so. Luckily I now have the internet and my husband whom for some reason likes math on my side. He’ll I may actually come out of the other of this not having an aneurysm every time I see a linear freaking equation.
But if life has taught me one thing lately then it is when all else fails you fade back 20 and punt. This is our punt. And we will make it work for all of us. And she will come out stronger and tougher and smarter on the other end.
This is going to be an adventure the way I look at it. Something new that we haven’t tried before that may very well work out better than conventional means. It could lay down some serious questions about her brothers educations in years to come too.
And if that time comes, we’ll huddle up and decide if we need to punt.

To my daughter- thoughts and questions while painting your nails


I sat down Monday afternoon and started painting my teenage daughters nails for her. The tidal wave of questions running thru my head…

How can you not realize how beautiful you are? You have been told this a million times from us, relatives, friends, and even complete strangers.
Why do you hate yourself? I know a girls teenage years can be so cruel, and we live in a world that doesn’t make it any easier, but you have to know how amazing you are!
Do you know that I’m scared to open your bedroom door some mornings? I’m afraid of what I’m going to find. I’m afraid of losing you.
I can see the cuts on your arms peeking out from the sleeves of your jacket. They are fresh, you just did them that morning. Why???
How mad are you going to be at me when I end up admitting you to a facility this evening?
Do you realize that I’m doing this for you? I am trying to protect you from yourself and the self loathing that your brain has produced.
Do you know that saying things like “I’m sorry I’m such a horrible person” make me feel like the horrible person? I didn’t raise a horrible kid. I raised a very sweet loving child that is always worried about everyone else but can’t manage to love or respect herself. And I don’t know why…
What can I do to make it better? I know there really isn’t an answer to that one, but still…
Do you know what the world would be losing if it lost you?
Do you know what me and your father would be losing? Your brothers?
Why doesn’t kissing and making it all better work like it did when you was little?
Why can’t the doctors or psychiatrists explain to me what makes you do this? Why can’t anyone explain it?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
You think you are crazy and you are scared you always will be. You are not crazy, it’s a chemical imbalance in your head. People are quick to label crazy when they don’t understand a behavior. Why they do is a mystery…
I miss your giggle.
I took you to the hospital Monday night, I can’t open your bedroom door without crying.
Will things ever be normal again? What the hell is normal?
Your new haircut does not make you look like a lesbian. It makes you look like the cute little pixie punk rocker that you are, all 5’1″ of you.
I haven’t gotten to listen to you sing in 3 days….
I’m more mad at me than you. I’m mad that at this point you are safer with other people than you are in your own home. I’m mad because I’m afraid the time that I’m not looking is when you will do it again…..
I love you so much. You are my first born and my only daughter.
Do you know that you are not replaceable?